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Cow Cola

March 3rd, 2009 admin
Posted in Business News, Cool Brands, New Products - No Comments »

Good News! Just when you thought that Coca Cola and Pepsi had the cola market sewn up an Indian entrepreneur/lunatic has decided to have a go and give them a run for their money.  I assure you it gets better. Where the likes of Rola Cola and Sir Richard Branson have essentially failed to dent either Coke or Pepsi’s market shares Om Prakash (leader of the RSS, a bovine protection league in New Dehli (the importance of bovine will become very, very clear in a moment) has found a new marketing tool.  Possibly even a genius marketing tool.  So in India, a country that holds the cow as a sacred animal, good old Om has decided to attempt launching a Cola made from cow urine, cow piss, cow waste (see the bovine importance now?).  And why? Well it is thought that cow urine has curative properties and even with no medical qualifications at all Om claims that cow urine can and does cure forms of cancer. And what’s the moral of Om’s story? No matter how mental, obscure or just plain revolting your business idea is there is always someone more mental, obscure or revolting giving it ago somewhere in the world.  I shotgun dog piss tea!

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Apple slim down with new iPod

September 10th, 2008 admin
Posted in Cool Brands, New Products - No Comments »

Winehouse; shakes, rattle and roll. Apple have troubled the sheets of gadget-heads once more by unveiling the fourth generation iPod Nano at a US press conference, to add to the 160m already sold. It has new shuffle and library features, but also environmental credentials, including arsenic-free glass and a mercury/PVC-free body that makes it “highly recyclable”. Apple’s new Genius function allows you to create automatic playlists from the iPod’s library with the click of a button. It also houses a “shake to shuffle” mode, which sends the gadget to shuffle mode with the flick of a wrist allowing you to go backwards and forwards on your playlist. Er…great. The new contraption is also super skinny – hang on: super skinny and the shakes: it’s not inspired by Amy Winehouse is it?!

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Tesla unveils green sports car

August 22nd, 2008 admin
Posted in Cool Brands, Environment, New Products - No Comments »

Travolta. Loves it. What have Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney all got in common? No, not prostate cancer, they’ve all reserved the new £92,000 Tesla Roadster - the new sports car from the US company, being made right here at the Lotus factory in Norfolk. Why is this of interest, because while the roadster is a high performing penis substitute like every other sports car, unlike the rest it is entirely electric. It takes three hours to charge up and can then run for 220miles. The company is already working on a four-door family version, while developing a more affordable vehicle with an unnamed major manufacturer. One thing this boy’s toy lacks is noise – it’s completely silent when running, so no throaty revs at the traffic lights. It also means, if you’re a passenger in one of the 250 available in Europe, you’ll have to listen to the driver drone on about how green he is, and how small his cock is.

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Apple Nano: risk of fire

August 20th, 2008 admin
Posted in Cool Brands, New Products - No Comments »

The New Apple iPhone Its not often people have something bad to say about Apple, so forgive me if I leap at the chance to report that the company is investigating a possible defect on their iPod Nano. Two of them have overheated, causing minor burn damage – a defect in the lithium-ion battery while it charges is suspected – and a single battery suppier for the first generation Nano has been blamed. As always, both cases happened in Japan and Apple have said if your concerned you should contact them. While they put you on hold can I suggest you download the following: Disco inferno; Burning Down the House, and anything by Sparks.

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How the iPhone works (in a business sense)

June 12th, 2008 admin
Posted in Business News, Cool Brands, New Products - No Comments »

The new Eyephone…with TVs Mike Reid (R.I.P.) An estimated 5m Apple iPhone handsets have been shifted around the world, but only 350,000 of them in Europe – barley scratching the cheek of the global market of 1bn handsets where Nokia rules supreme. Well, not anymore…the new iPhone, paraded before drooling geeks this week, is marketed specifically to help boss Steve Jobs achieve his target of selling 10m by the end of the year. Apple’s original approach gave the company an estimated 15% per cent of the operator’s average revenue per user (exclusively O2 in the case of the UK). Now, operators will fork out to cover a proportion of the cost of the phone, and Apple will take a smaller share of that revenue but take more of a cut of any applications sold through the handset. The phone launches across 11 countries, including the UK, tomorrow at a strting retail price of £99.

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