A commercial for furniture DFS has been banned for making its sofas look too big. The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) received 21 complaints from viewers (who are these people?!) before DFS admitted to using green-screen technology to superimpose actors into domestic settings and that “some of the sofas did appear large in relation to the actors” though not intentionally. DFS cleverly pointed out that many customers’ main concern was whether a sofa would fit in their house or flat and so showing the sofas bigger than they really were would have been a deterrent to sales. Yeah right; if that was the case, you’d shrink them wouldn’t you?! Of course the most objectionable thing about the DFS ads is that they swell the coffers of cock-rock, Canadian muppets, Nickelback, whose painting-by-numbers hit RockStar is inexplicably sung by the actors in the ad.

Who do you think the new face of Harvey Nichols is? Peaches Geldof? Zara Philips? Mark Ronson? No, its someone more attractive than any of them: Wallace and Gromit. The new ads have been created by DDB London for the opening of HN’s new Bristol store. The pictures show Wallace in a Dolce and Gabbana fitted shirt and an Alexander McQueen cashmere jacket, while Gromit wears a Paul Smith scarf. Sean Clarke, head of marketing and licensing at animators Aardman, bleated: “I think it only fitting that W&G a great British institution celebrate another institution in retailing Harvey Nichols coming to Bristol.â€� Then he picked up his cheque and fcuked off down the pub.

Car insurance puppet Churchill (once voiced by convicted drink-driver Vic Reeves) has been getting people to say “oh yesâ€� as if they have had a stroke for years now. In their annoying TV commericals the dog repeatedly asks over-enthusasitc members of the public to Challenge Churchill. Well, someone has done just that: In the TV ad Churchill is asked by a man if it is possible to “make a claim without filling in any forms?” to which the dog gives his catchphrase response. One viewer complained that the TV ad was misleading because a form was sent out upon making an insurance claim. Churchill admit that 20% of cases are sent a declaration form or statement to complete, and so the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) has banned the ad from being broadcast in the same form again. Could it be time to have the dog put down - I mean, who has a puppet as their spokesman?!

Shell make a press ad that claims their Canadian oil sand extraction operation was sustainable. While the majorty of us ignore this because when the words “Canadian+oil+sand+extraction+operation” appear, our brains shut down, the World Wildlife Fund in the UK looked into the claim and decided it was “bullwashâ€� or “greenshit,â€� as I call it. More importantly the Advertising Standards Authority agreed with them. Keen to remind us that the WWF is there for the environment, not just pandas, the charity has taken a huge screen at Waterloo to run a 20â€� ad telling commuters how Shell tried to pull the wool over their eyes. It’s a good reminder to us all that the WWF exists and isn’t in fact the World Wrestling Foundation. I have it on good authority that HSBC has just made a donation of $33m to the charity to support environmental projects over the next five years, so this is a serious contender for your attention. Shell agrees that to meet vast energy requirements it had to look beyond normal sources of oil and gas, and that includes unconventional rescources , such as oil sands. But because Shell had not provided evidence that it was “effectively” managing carbon emissions from its oil sands projects “in order to limit climate change”, the ASA deemed that the ad was misleading.

Mars has been told to pull one of its fairly amusing Snickers adverts in which Mister T shouts at people from a tank and then talks about testicles. In the ad, T berates a speed walker in tight shorts for being a “disgrace to the man race.� Apparently this has offended the gay community - presumably because the man was walking like the gentlemen I see coming out of Worthing public lavatories. It’s the second time in as many months that Mars’ marketing has got them in hot water – last month M&Ms ended up in court for allegedly stealing the look of The Naked Cowboy, a New York street entertainer who parades around in nothing but a Stetson, underpants and Cowboy boots…well, their nothing if not consistent in where they get their ideas. It’s a wonder they don’t make Fruit pastilles…or a finger of Fudge.