The headline grabbing ninnies who claimed that the City could see as many as 20,000 jobs go in the name of the credit crunch have put on their “I told you so” T-shirts this morning as 1,200 jobs are hanging by a thread at the London HQ of German investment bank Dresdner Klienwort. But is this really a credit crunch catastrophe? The fact is that another German giant, Commerzbank is on the brink of a takeover of DK – and the two banks have been Germanically proficient in telling the world that as many as 9000 staff posts from the current 67,000 may be made redundant. Its business, not recession: the investment banking arm of DK has been losing money for four quarters in a row so it’s understandable that a shake up is in order – well, something’s not working. As in most mergers, it’s the support staff that get hit, where it doesn’t make sense to double up certain roles – in this case, IT workers are expected to take an early bath. Don’t write off Commerzbank or the private banking side of DK – Kleinwort Benson (already ranked in the top 10 UK banks) – mergers mean scale, and scale often means security.

How does $2m for a Buffett lunch sound to you? This isn’t vol au vents, coronation chicken and dysentery we’re talking about, but the world’s richest man, American money wizard Warren Buffett. An eBay auction to have lunch with WB at a New York steakhouse went to a Chinese businessman for $2.1m. The profits from the lunch will go to a non-profit foundation which fights poverty and homelessness. Buffett is known as the Sage of Omaha for his shrewd business acumen and ability to spot winning investment opportunities, so the Chinaman might be onto some good advice for his money. On the occasion of his (immanent) death, WB has agreed to leave the bulk of his fortune (£15bn) to the charitable foundation set up by Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife Melinda.

The government has signalled an expansion of top graduates to be recruited into teaching in tough, underperforming schools. The number of grads on the Teach First scheme hopes to double to 850 a year by 2013. The scheme allows high-flying grads to teach for two years in inner-city secondary schools without having to study for a teaching certificate. The idea was the grads would then leave and go in to high paid City jobs with a bit of street sense behind them. However, more than half who have taken part in the scheme have stayed in the profession, many being fast-tacked onto headships. 100 are expected to become heads by 2018. The scheme has helped raised standards, with more than half of the recruits credited by Ofsted as being “outstanding.” The buzz words here are “social mobility”, so well educated or even privileged graduates come into the inner city slums, I mean schools, and raise standards and aspirations for those in that area.

What to be a big shot in the City? At what cost? Macho attitudes are being blamed for a swell in City workers suffering severe mental issues in the wake of the Credit Crunch. Clinics in the City are reporting a 20% rise in calls from depressed or even suicidal bankers and traders who face redundancy or the loss of their wealth. Charities like Stand to Reason are calling for more firms to actively engage counsellors to talk to staff who are suffering in silence. Lifeworks – a helpline used by City workers has received 3,500 anxious calls – up 10% on this time last year. As stress takes hold, so there has been an increase in cases of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. So that’s what’s causing it…

This credit crunch and supposed recession certainly does seem to be a game of swings and roundabouts. 40,000 City staff have lost their jobs. Goldman Sachs makes $2bn profit. Lehman Brothers records a loss of £2.8bn. But we hear that far from catching a chill in this economic climate, lawyers have been raking in bonuses of ten of thousands of pounds – or an average of 11.6% of their total salary, that’s up 3% on last year. If money’s your mother, get over to Freshfields where the average bonus was 23% of your salary. Tax lawyers got the best bonuses across the board, while property and employment lawyers didn’t fare so well. So far in recruitment terms it seems that people aren’t cutting back their intake, just the amount of marketing they are doing to find them. So get off your arse. (Oh, you have, by coming here.)