They’re back: last time we reported online clothes monger Asos’ bumper sales it was a bit weird in the current climate. Now it’s the stuff of the X-fliles. While everyone else is firing and crying, Asos has seen sales more than double by 107%, with close to a million customers. Strong sales of cheap threads for the Christmas party season showing no end to the good times.  My favourites, high-shine leggings are also very popular: Asos sold 4,000 over the last four weeks. It recently launched ASOSRed, a discounted designer clearance page, and a maternity range. Half of those million customers are under 25 and, so don’t face mortgages and utility bills, so are more resilient to economic downturns. Asos plans to push into childrenswear in February, as well as offering more premium designer brands alongside Karen Millen, Warehouse and Whistles. It is also looking to expand overseas. We caught up with them at a retail fair recently – everything you need to know about landing a graduate job with them is in this video. I’ll help you catch him, Clarice.

The Wolverhampton kebab chef who kept working despite corpse of dead employee on sofa in his shop, admits 12 counts of breeching hygiene standards.  A career in reverse: a 33 year-old woman from Wisconsin enrolled in her local high school, pretending to be her 15-year old daughter, in order to fulfill a longtime dream of becoming a cheerleader. She did make the squad before she was found out. Australian Wool Innovation who introduced, for the Japanese executives’ market, a washable business suit that can be cleaned in an ordinary shower and will dry overnight, virtually wrinkle-free. They admit it can even be worn in the shower. And Tommy Patterson. The 41 year-old while on holiday in Florida decided to do some impromptu shoplifting at a Wal-Mart but, according to police, but was easy to catch in the ensuing foot chase as he was still wearing flip-flops from the beach.

How’s this for a job interview: a robber smashed a 6-foot hole in the wall of a clothing store in Tulsa and unsuccessfully laboured for 6 hours through the night to open the safe. Exhausted at day break, he gave up and left the crime scene.  When the store manager arrived later that morning, he found the safe unlocked, probably the result of his forgetfulness the night before, and no contents were missing. Having studied the CCTV footage the manager has since offered to hire the robber, based on his apparent determination and diligent work ethic.

Staff at legal firm Olswang (Sunday Times top 100 Best Company to work for since 2005). They have effectively cancelled Christmas by announcing now there will be no staff bonuses this year… Subway PR department: a customer rang 911 on discovering that they hadn’t made his sandwich correctly… French Connection: even though UK and European sales have risen, increased overheads and staff costs mean they made a loss of £3.5m in the last six months… The London woman fired from Foreign and Colonial investment firm for throwing a sickie and applying for a job at a rival firm. She claimed an “alternative personality” of hers attended the job interview…

…E.On boss forced to apologise for claiming that continued high gas & electricity prices mean more “money for us”…72 year-old Burnley milkman accused of selling cannabis to customers on his round who left order notes in their empty bottles…thieves believed to operating on “customer orders” raid Anya Hindmarch’s designer handbag store for the sixth time this year…Thwaites brewery of Lancashire sees sales of Dark Mild rise by 90% after changing its name to Nutty Black…Passionato website launched as realistic rival to Apple iTunes, by only offering classical music to download…average annual big boss pay in FTSE 250 falls to average of £1.45m each. My round! Bon weekend, workmates!