A ”Citizen Journalist” on CNN website mistakenly claims boss Steve Jobs has a heart attack and sends Apple’s shares crashing… With another ill-informed BBC business Blog by dyed-hair scribbler Robert Peston accused of terrifying traders and wiping £17bn off the share price of UK banks… American lawyer Michael Kelly “forgot” to submit his client’s bond release request leaving the accused in a cell for two years, patiently assuming his lawyer was working on his behalf… And Environmental groups accused Starbucks of wasting water by leaving taps on all day to clean spoons and utensils in each store’s dipper well…

Brush up on employment law, and you’re set for life: Research by our friends  at KPMG have found that 27% of firms are planning to use the credit crunch as an excuse to lay off staff – but this means a harvest time for the lawyers. Often companies try to speed things up and bypass the very stringent rules for making someone redundant, and if they do that, the legal claims that come back at them often cost more to fix than keeping all the staff on!  According to wigs Haworth & Nuttall, last year there were more than 130,000 employment tribunals - 530 per working day. And an average payout costs an employer nearly £8k plus those delicious legal costs.

KPMG: they resigned the fated XL account in 2006 citing dangerous accounting irregularities – er…BDO Stoy Hayward took over the account… Aberystwyth freshers: after it is named as UK’s favourite university town, new students have been housed in hotels as record numbers turn up for the new term… Online advertising: Four out of five advertisers have increased their online ad spend and predict it will continue to grow in the next two years… The West Virginian law student who is suing his college, after they refused his demands for 4 days instead of 2 in order to complete his law exam because he has trouble concentrating…

Staff at legal firm Olswang (Sunday Times top 100 Best Company to work for since 2005). They have effectively cancelled Christmas by announcing now there will be no staff bonuses this year… Subway PR department: a customer rang 911 on discovering that they hadn’t made his sandwich correctly… French Connection: even though UK and European sales have risen, increased overheads and staff costs mean they made a loss of £3.5m in the last six months… The London woman fired from Foreign and Colonial investment firm for throwing a sickie and applying for a job at a rival firm. She claimed an “alternative personality” of hers attended the job interview…

A survey by The Lawyer has revealed almost 20% of in the top 100 UK law firms are now female. And the total number of equity partners - partners who have a share in the ownership of the firm - who are women has risen by nearly 4.5% this year, with smaller firms leading the way. Pensions specialist, Sacker & Partners scores highest with nearly 50% of partners being women. Bottom of the list with just 6% is boutique firm Dickson Minto. The pornographically named, Nicole Paradise, Nabarro managing partner said the increase was thanks in part to a growing practice for flexible working. Meanwhile, it was time for all law firms to declare their earnings; aided by another divorce from me, Clifford Chance topped the list with 2008 turnover at £1,392m. How’s that for job security!