Finally the recession captures my attention with the woeful news from the The British Beer & Pub Association that 39 pubs a week are closing in Britain, 20 times faster than three years ago – and that equates to losing 60,000 crucial student-loan-paying-off jobs. Last year nearly 2000 pubs rang the bell for last orders as MPs debate more regulation in the profession including compulsory qualifications for bar staff - measures that will cost the industry £300m. I’m all for training and qualifications, but not if it means my local, The Prawn and Scaffolding, goes under. Meanwhile, in the restaurant trade, a record number of 26 UK establishments have earned a coveted Michelin star. Women chefs also make a strong showing in the 2009 food bible, with 10 now running starred restaurants. Guide boss Derek Bulmer said: “These new stars have been awarded to a host of establishments from gastropubs and family-run locals to country hotels and fashionable London restaurants. For the first time we are seeing women reach the top jobs in starred restaurants. If it continues on at the same rate, it’s no longer going to be the male-dominated industry that it traditionally has been.” Well, if you can’t stand the heat, spoil the broth.

Two years ago we were laughing at them as some weird, German supermarket for scumbags. Now, everyone is in love with Aldi, keeping our gastrobuds tickled in the credit crunch, and now they can tickle our backs and toes too: 20% of summer holidays are booked this month, and Aldi wants some of that sweet action by offering holidays 20% cheaper than other tour operators. Aldi is already the second biggest travel agent in Austria and also sells holidays in Switzerland and Germany, so it is testing the water in the UK by offering six exclusive holiday deals every two weeks via its website. Aldi said the model it was using was similar to how the supermarket sells food: It will offer a limited range of holiday deals but hopes to sell them in big volumes.

Well who’d have thunk it: With all this talk of recession you’d have thought the holiday companies would be packing their own bags, but my old friends at Thomas Cook say business is strong, and forecasted sales through to summer 09 are up on the year before. Same goes for German rival TUI (First Choice and Thomson) where sales are up 8% in the UK. See we all like a holiday, and in hard times, the new carpet, fancy jacket and foie gras are the things we cut back on first. The trend seems to be that we’re cutting back on the euro-strong weekend break to Paris or Barcelona (surely not Amsterdam) but are keeping the big two-week holiday further a-field intact – especially as the weather here can’t be relied on. So its golf course Friday for the management, or as Jonathan Jackson, an analyst at Killik Capital, puts it: “Capacity reduction and fuel hedging, combined with the merger synergy benefits provide some reassurance that the group will be able to cope with a downturn.” That’s it JJ – as clear and humorous as ever! But wait – my old friend and hairy-egg MP Vince Cable has come forward to pour water on my BBQ by warning that this recession (lack of consumer spending) could last between 3 and 10 years! Vince is a man I trust and we’ll keep you posted. Now worries for a loaded old cove like me though, I’ve booked my first class trip to go and hunt Big Foot. Pull!

Here’s a good way to remind everyone you’re still there: The Co-operative Travel has 400 high street stores and sells over £1bn worth of holidays each year. No, I’ve never heard of them either, but they are a sizeable force in the tourism industry. Worrying for Downing Street then that they have added their name to the list of protesters who firmly oppose plans for a third runway at Heathrow. Boss Mike Greenacre (apt name) pointed out that the “proposals conflict with the UK’s targets to reduce its carbon dioxide emissions by 60% by 2050.” Co-op sees growth in better use of existing regional airports, feeling that a third runway would gridlock West London. Mike has got huge claps on the back from the Green lobby for putting his neck on the block and saying what many are thinking. Without business support, the Government has no case to push for the expansion of Heathrow. A decision is expected this year…

It transpires that The German Bundesliga isn’t just the nickname of a working girl I met in Hamburg last weekend, but a low German football league. It’s become an interesting barometer of modern times as hordes of our own Premier League fans have got so fed up with paying a large fortune for a season ticket to UK games, they find it cheaper to travel to the land of sausage and pay as little as £6 for a match (as opposed to £102 for Chelsea). Fans report being able to get return flights, a hotel room, and a ticket for as little as £65. The experience has been likened to the glory days of 1970s – you stand on terraces, pass round gaspers and get your pint glass filled up for £1. Similar enthusiasm is shown for the Spanish La Liga. The new season starts in August and if I wasn’t so busy waiting for this rash to clear up, I’d think about setting up an online travel business that sorts out coaches, tickets, hotels and bail money for the disgruntled UK fans…any takers?!