What have Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney all got in common? No, not prostate cancer, they’ve all reserved the new £92,000 Tesla Roadster - the new sports car from the US company, being made right here at the Lotus factory in Norfolk. Why is this of interest, because while the roadster is a high performing penis substitute like every other sports car, unlike the rest it is entirely electric. It takes three hours to charge up and can then run for 220miles. The company is already working on a four-door family version, while developing a more affordable vehicle with an unnamed major manufacturer. One thing this boy’s toy lacks is noise – it’s completely silent when running, so no throaty revs at the traffic lights. It also means, if you’re a passenger in one of the 250 available in Europe, you’ll have to listen to the driver drone on about how green he is, and how small his cock is.

Its all very well BAA being told to sell 3 of their major airports, but what you should be really interested in is “whose going to buy them?” Here are the runners and riders, ripe for a CV in the post: Manchester Airports Group – majority owned by Manchester City Council, and said to have chased US and UK private equity cash to grow their empire; Changi Airports – the Singapore Government that owns nearly 50% of Virgin Atlantic; Fraport – German. ‘Nuff said. Hotchtief – Germany’s biggest construction firm with an eye on Gatwick to add to investments in Athens, Hamburg and Sydney airports; Global Infrastructure Partners – joint owned by Credit Suisse and General Electric they already own the majority of London’s City airport; and Macquarie – Australian bank that already owns Bristol airport. My work here is done. Over to you.

Workers at retail chain Argos have voted in favour of strike action over pay in the wake of rising food and fuel costs. Staff at four distribution centres have rejected a 4% pay offer from Argos’ owner Home Retail Group  - a below inflation pay rise. 1,200 of them distribution staff will stage a series of 24-hour walkouts. A spokeswoman for Unite, the UK’s biggest trade union said “This is a hugely profitable company and all our members are asking for is a fair share of the wealth they’ve worked so hard to create.” The P45 is available on page 339 of the new Argos catalogue…

The Stobart group – who own fan boy trucking company Eddie Stobart – has saved 1,300 jobs at a chilled goods distributor called Innovate Logistics. Innovate went into administration (the bank takes over to normally bring matters to a close) on Monday by BDO Stoy Hayward, but now Stobart has stepped in to secure the firm for an undisclosed sum. That gives them a overall staff of 5,300 and 1,800 new trucks to their name. The bosses at Stobart say they can get the firm back on the road and expect it to generate £100m a year in turnover. Keep on trucking, as they say.

Rail union bosses have accused transport giant Stagecoach of putting profits before the service and safety of its passengers. As Stagecoach end of year figures boasted nearly £175m in profits, boss Brian Souter said fuel costs, increased road congestion and environment concerns drove the big increase in bus and train passengers. But the group is on a cost cutting exercise, for example cutting ticket office hours at South West Trains stations. The RMT’s leader Bob Crow said: “That puts up to 140 jobs at threat, undermines safety and service and is unacceptable. People want to see more staff on stations, not fewer.” But hey! It’s a business… Stagecoach did warn there was a “significant risk” to its expansion plans as maintenance on the west coast line - currently being undertaken by Network Rail - would not be finished by December. Quelle surprise